"Let your downhills carry you uphill."
  • Mark: (throws—and spirals—a ball into my team's cup)
  • Me: (quickly leans in, blows into cup, blowing the ball out of it)
  • Mark: No fucking way! You can't blow it out!
  • Me: Wait, why not?
  • Mark: Only girls can!
  • Me: (knowing exactly where this is going) What the fuck, Mark? So all men are limited to fingering it out and all women are limited to blowing it out? Fuck that, this is not a fucking heteronormative house, and this is not going to be a fucking heteronormative pong table.
  • Mark: I don't know what that means!
  • Me: I'm into dudes. And if the joke-save here is 'blowjob,' which is a thing that, you know, as a gay dude I occasionally give, then I get to fucking blow the goddamned ball out of the cup. Get it?
  • Mark: So you get an exception?
  • Me: Fucking everyone gets an exception! But rerack already, Christ. I'll yell at you about compulsory heterosexuality tomorrow.
  1. resurrecthobbes reblogged this from kiss-distinctly-american
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